Lily’s Diary
by Lily
October 18Poppy in Apt. 3 called me just before midnight last night saying that she felt drips coming down from her ceiling. Isn’t that like your worst nightmare? In fact, since I was asleep at the time, I hoped it was a nightmare. But—no such luck. Water was indeed dripping from her ceiling. When I rang the bell of the unit above, I found a very frantic Louise full of apologies for having let the bathtub overflow. “But it was hours ago,” she exclaimed, “and I mopped it all up.” When I went in to check it out, I almost gagged. The overflow opening on the tub was covered by some kind of plastic thingy that blocked it completely. I asked her what the hell it was and what was she thinking. “Oh, it’s just a plug that lets you put more water in the tub,” she said, like someone who needed full immersion for maybe religious reasons. The very next day I saw a whole rack of these gizmos at Bed, Bath and Beyond. “Deep Water Bath” is what they’re called. The package reads, “Get 60% more water in your bathtub.” This is a product you should definitely include as a prohibition in the fine print of your rental agreement.
October 20
Went to the Victorian Alliance house tour with Robert. He said
he’s
having trouble with a neighbor’s tenant. The guy’s a
guitarist with the Dead Rabbits (not real name) and holds band
practice in the basement. Of course, this drives Robert and his
tenants absolutely bananas. Robert complained to the building owner
who lives out of town and got nowhere. He started reporting it
to the police, and after a few times the guy was cited and opted
to appear in community court. I saw him walk in waving his rental
agreement, which he claimed gave him permission to practice between
10 a.m. and 6 p.m. The arbitrator explained that it was irrelevant,
and he was disturbing the peace and had done so repeatedly.
“But I have permission to practice,” he said as he jabbed
at the lease. “It’s right here and besides,” he declared,
“the person who filed the complaint wasn’t even my landlord.”
Who says loud music doesn’t affect the brain.
November 10
A matchmaker, me? A while back, I just casually mentioned that
my friend Maggie quoted Samson Wong’s column, “Political
Notebook,” that appears in The Independent, so much that I
thought she was dating him. Of course, it was a joke. Maggie is
even older than I am. Well, would you believe it? Sam wrote in his
column that he’d like to meet this Maggie. She couldn’t
have been more thrilled and sent him an email. Turns out he’s
charming and funny but isn’t all that interested in small property
issues, or maybe the topic just didn’t come up.
November 13
As cold weather sinks in, I open that cupboard in my mind that’s
labeled “Fear of Fire.” Although I once had a tenant who
set fire to the side of the house during a Fourth of July barbecue,
most fires in old buildings come from things that happen in winter.
I see them like the ghosts of Christmas past—the wrappings
thrown into small fireplaces, the outdoor Christmas lights used
on indoor trees, Advent candles kept on window sills. Then there
are those electric heaters left unattended. Equally serious are
any number of crafts projects that use hot glue, solder and propane—thanks
to Martha Stewart at whose feet I lay all the blame. So, again,
I search the computer files for my “Christmas Message on Fire
Prevention” and slip it under everyone’s door. A futile
effort? Perhaps, but I feel better.
November 18
With all the hue and cry coming from the tenant lobbyists about
high rents, you may be surprised to learn that in a recent study
brought to my attention by my neighbor Monty, Bay Area renters
spend a slightly smaller portion of their paycheck for rent than
the rest of California. This in itself wouldn’t be news if it weren’t
for the political posturing and constant finger pointing at Bay
Area landlords. Then there’s the supply side as evidenced by
the city’s 5,654 units of approved new residential housing
coming on board by 2007. Yet this morning on Craigslist, there were
nearly 3,000 vacant San Francisco apartments. Nevertheless, the
tenant lobbyists in Sacramento have managed to pass a 60-Day Notice
for Eviction, a requirement for a pre-move walk-through, punitive
anti-mold laws while locally they are still pushing to end capital
improvement passthroughs, relative move-ins and TICs. Do I sound
resentful? Maybe it’s because I just paid my tax bill.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of the SFAA or the SF Apartment Magazine. A longtime rental property owner who reserves the right to remain anonymous on the grounds that her tenants might gang up on her, writes Lily’s Diary. Comments, corrections or ideas are welcome. Copyright © 2002.